Nothingness. That's how I once felt. Completely void of anything. I wanted to die and tried to blow my brains out a few times but something prevented it.
I.T. is a term I coined that stands for the Intelligent Totality. It's kind of when you refer to something using lower case "it" but this is as great as I know.
I.T. or IT for short, is the Alpha-And-Omega-And-Nothingness, my beloved friend. My confidant. Some say Jesus, or Mother Mary, or Budhha, or Lord or Lady or Spirit or Great Spirit to name a few. I use those and many more depending on how IT appears to me.
Yes, I claim to see G-D. Not metaphorically, not just in my mind, but with all my senses, however you number them (see wikipedia for an explanation of senses and the complicated nature of their identification, classification, and numbering).
So whether it's matter that matters like one membrane being a universe in a multi-verse of such, or energy in forms not yet fully understood my dear Graviton or Uriel, or those clear and dark and colorful spaces some of us DO see but I afraid to admit lest we get put in the loony bin again, I have numbered the 3 forms I see and understand a number like 4 is more to your liking. Have you seen the movie "I am number 4!". So cool.
I AM Ivan. Just Ivan. That's all folks! Namaste!!!
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