Sunday, May 27, 2012

Like begets Like

I find many people would rather claim to know something than swallow their pride, admit ignorance, and learn something in the process. If I have a doubt and say I do not know, the other person's answer may give me knowledge or verify what I thought. There's nothing wrong with admitting you don't know something. Acting like you do just causes you to remain ignorant. The smart ones have nothing to prove and everything to learn.

When I come across the prideful sort, I find them to be quite a drain. Communication is broken and you have to figure out what they need because they won't admit to any lack of knowledge. They have built a wall around themselves and see ignorance as weakness though their pride is the true downfall for people stop helping them. When this communication stops, both sides suffer.

From street slang to internet slang, even the people in the conversation often don't understand what the other person is saying due to mumbling, vague acronyms, or gross misspelling and grammer to name a few problems. When asked, some will tell you they don't know (even though they won't ask for a clarification) and the rest will act like they understand even if they don't. A lot of this comes from a lack of education and that includes many educators that don't care.

From my own experience, this gets even worse as we move past just being prideful to boastful. A series of successes can quickly lead a person to feeling quite powerful in their ways and begin to invite trouble from corners unknown through boastfulness.

I haven't figured out how to get through to people that feel they know everything. Each time I try, I find the simplest of conversations to turn into a therapy session. I don't mind helping anyone even in this way but I find it very exhausting.

It is also misleading since the subtle cues a person may have learned that help them understand a person are thwarted by all the lies and deception. There aren't many resources to learn some of the things I'm inferring and negative input just detracts from what you think you've learned.

So instead of using anger to hurt others or challenge them to a war you think you can not lose, I'd suggest you find healthier ways to release the anger and focus on the good in your life. It may be a long time before you see the fruits of either way but I know I can look back and see the better path for me was kindness.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Marriage = EQUALITY!!!

I recently had a discussion with a member of an AIDS support group that made me realize I needed to have my say too.

Members of groups often forget that they are representing a group. Making statements in that group instead of on a personal page implies you are speaking for the group. So when this person said that didn't care about getting the right to be married and only wanted the other rights that came with it, the hairs on my back stood on end.

I lost my Partner, the house I bought him, and all his possessions because I had no legal rights. I only got to see him while he was in ICU because of a technicality. But my partner, Jerry Michael Brown, was the one that said we should call each other "Partners".

He didn't like the term "Lovers" because he said it implied that was all our relationship was based on and he said it wasn't. He didn't want to say we were "Married" because we weren't and it would be a lie.

If you had know this man, you'd find it hard to believe he had thought something through so much but it showed to me how much he really did love me. It wasn't an easy union but I can say I love him and miss him often now that he has passed on. Marriage is something we will not get to share in this lifetime.

So I want the opportunity in the future to be able to say I am "Married" in whatever religious or non-religious context that is. It will state: "I am the SAME as you!". No second-class citizen drinking from the gay water fountain and the law will have to back me.

It is TIME to evolve past such hatred. Whomever you consider to be your hero or religious icon, follow their teachings of love, compassion, tolerance, and forgiveness. It's time to start making an effort ALL THE TIME to RAISE THIS WORLD UP!