Sunday, February 12, 2017


Me and my sister

The first (and last) time I went to a funeral home was when my neighbor was killed in an accident. He worked with the county maintaining our dirt roads and was run over and mauled by a road grader. It was a closed casket.

His one son was so distraught over his father's death that he hugged the coffin, bawling, and often making them open it up so he could see his father, no matter how bad he looked. I did not see him and did not want to and left as soon as I could get away.

The graveside service was even worse, for now his entire family was in tears and I felt helpless. I just wanted to run away and cry myself for all the pain I was feeling from everyone.

After that, I didn't go to wakes any more. I knew so many would think I didn't care but I simply could not handle the emotions and did not want the last image of someone in my mind to be of them laying dead and pumped full of chemicals. My spirituality does not believe in doing such things so I follow my own rituals instead.

What my mom's urn looked like (my partner Jerry picked it out)

When my partner died and was cremated (a change in his beliefs because of me sharing my own spirituality with him), his family asked me to preside over the graveside burial since he still wanted to be buried at the foot of his mother's grave, which I understood. It was a very touching request to perform the ceremony by a wonderful family that had welcomed me in as their own. It was only my second time to be in a cemetery.

Jerry Michael Brown

Jerry Michael Brown's grave

As I found myself driving back out to his grave so many times, I began to understand the various rituals of death. It gave me great comfort to be able to go to the grave sites of my partner Jerry, my mother Marge, my father Al, and even my little cat Sheena Easton Adams. My sister's ashes have yet to be released and I am waiting very impatiently for that to happen.

Now as the years go by, I am finding so many places to visit and it is hard to do at times. I know I can commune with the other side where ever I am but I like going outdoors to do so.

Another dear friend, Cameron Marsh, has passed away and the synchronicity is amazing. Synchronicity was one of the BIG topics he and I talked about often. It was as if he was trying to show me the things we believed in were so true. On January 28th, 2017, the Chinese New Year is celebrated. The scent associated with bringing in the Chinese New Year of the Rooster was said to be Sandalwood. A very sacred scent that Cameron and I had talked about.

The above image is of the bottle of Sandalwood that Cameron gave to me as a present. I went looking for the bottle the day before, January 27th, in order to have it for the next day. So of course, Cameron was on my mind and I had a stronger nagging intuition to call him as I had since our last talk. As is typical, I was not in the moment and ignoring those inner voices as most of us usually do.

Ten next day I began burning the Sandalwood throughout the house and then logged on to facebook only to discover Cameron had passed away the day before. And I realized what my procrastination and ignoring those whispers from the other side had cost me. I could no longer call him on his phone or see him in his corporeal form.

I didn't go to the funeral but as I looked up the map location, I discovered the service was held in Warrior, Alabama. The next town up from where my partner, Jerry Michael Brown lived when I met him. Then I called the funeral home to find the address of the cemetery and discovered I would pass by where another dear friend, Teri Taylor, lived when Jerry and I had met her. She is another dear young friend that passed on too early in life.

Teri Taylor

It would seem to be a small world. Cameron and I would tell you it is synchronicity. For those that are curious, read "Journey of Souls".

Journey of Souls link:

So here I am, needing to visit another close friends burial (having skipped the service) and still waiting to release Sister Sheena II Adams' ashes who died on June 20th, 2016, where my mother and our previous cat, Sheena Easton Adams are buried deep in the sacred woods.

My last cat, Sister Sheena II Adams

For me, no tombstone is necessary. Those that know remember, and once forgotten, it no longer matters. We will be doing other things by then.

Elaine (Cameron's mom) and Cameron Marsh

Instead of graves and tombstones, please take time TODAY to find comfort in friends and family.
Cameron, see you on the flip side and Namaste!

P.S. from Cameron: