Better Living Through Chemistry...

When my mother became ill with cancer, I felt as if the bottom had dropped out from under me. It was a roller coaster ride of loss and hope.

Somewhere along the way, I realized I was no longer able to handle things even with therapy and finally spoke with my doctor. He prescribed Paxil and told me "Better Living Through Chemistry". If he only knew...

This morning as a particular short-term drug wears off, I find myself wishing I was still on Paxil. The short-term drug helps but I seem to become even more irritable as it wears of. That's why I would prefer to be on Paxil which is long-term.

For most of my life I have been impatient and critical with myself and others. I even shop at 2AM to avoid having to interact with people. Without drugs, it's even worse.

I love using the general term drugs because it pisses many health professionals off. They are so narrow minded about the effects of substance that they don't prescribe. From over-the-counter drugs, to herbal supplements, to alcohol, and even food have affects on a person's behavior (yeah, Tom Cruise, I think you're full of shit too).

I really just wanted to bitch about my trip to Wal-Mart but it reminded me that no matter what others think about medicating a person, I believe they do help. So I blogged it.

It's kind of like that old recommendation of writing a letter but not sending it for a while. Just write it down somewhere (like a blog) and revisit it later. Once you've had your say, that may be enough to make you feel better. If not, then after a period of time, send it to someone.

In this case, since I send a variety of letters to Wal-Mart (just yesterday was the last about not selling Green Day CD's) and they usually send me back their standardized bullshit response, I thought perhaps I would just share this one with the world for now.

This started with my bitching to the old Irondale Wal-Mart that they needed boxes to throw away the plastic grocery bags to be recycled. After telling the managers about it a few times, I finally sent an email to Wal-Mart. They never responded but soon after, the recycle boxes were replaced. SURPRISE!

That encouraged me later to complain about the lack of big sizes in men's clothing. This fell on deaf ears. Try looking for men's specialty boxers (you know, like the one's with kisses or pictures of homer simpson on them) in 2x, 3x, or 4x. They don't sell them.

Tonight I was using my own shopping bags and as usual, the cashier didn't know how to use it. I told her how to hook the loops on the bag to their bag holders and she said "I'm too tired".

I will admit that I wanted to slap the shit out of her but I just kept quiet. The only problem is that since Wal-Mart probably has my email listed as IGNORE, I can't even suggest they train or RE-train their cashiers on how to bag groceries.

Perhaps I need another email. Now what should the email ID be? How about complainer? Bitch? NeedsMoreMeds? I've got it..... ThereAreNotEnoughMedsInTheWorld. Nope, too long.

Did I mention that Pizza Hut even put a note in my file that I was a "Hostile Customer" just because my partner insisted on our discount any time the pizza was late. I got an apology from the Birmingham VP for that one!!!

(sigh) Well I feel better but I may just need to talk to my doctor about getting back on Paxil before my head explodes. What's that old definition about "Stress"? Something about resisting the urge to choke or kill people...

Thanks for reading...