One of the things I've come to accept is how important it is to be present in the real world. In this modern day of the internet and the many gadgets that allow us to disconnect, I make an effort to minimize this.
The reason is that I struggled for a long time with a desire to leave an impact on the world. Something that would last and that I would be remembered by. My guides told me not to worry so much about this and instead realize the importance of being aware and present for my world tribe. To listen, to learn, to share, and to guide.
Having grown up in the south, namely Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama, I was exposed to a lot of various Christian faiths. The fact that there were so many with such different views is one of the first things that gave me the courage to find my own calling, the Church of ONE. Me. Yup, from preacher to parishiner, I do it all.
When I began encountering so many that tried hard to frighten me or shame me into thinking I was so lost and they were so found, I saw through to this self-rightous belief and for a while, turned my back on all spirituality.
I imersered myself in college and lived a life of science and facts. Even as logical as I was though, the right side of my brain kept pointing things out that the equations just didn't seem to be able to account for.
So once I graduated, I began spending a lot of time with nature. We lived at the end of the road surrounded by farms and pine trees. I began to remember how much I loved that connection to the world and the beautiful trees and parks are what caused me to take a lower paying job in Birmingham and I have always felt I am right where I should be.
Recently, I met a lady I call my teacher. She is wise and loving and supporting. I didn't realize I could love a person so quickly but she means very much to me. She's given me the courage to be myself and has even helped me to be present for those even she has little patience for.
So when someone comes up to me with a desire to talk about Spirituality, I work very hard to remain open as the dialogue changes from an exchange of ideas to them looking down upon me as someone they perceive to be so lost and ignorant. I find it very draining just to let them preach but from my perscpective, they are so brainwashed into believing they have all the answers, it isn't worth my time or energy to attempt to drawn the conversation back to an exchange of ideas.
I resist closing these people out because we are all one tribe and sometimes a person just needs someone to talk to. I left the conversation feeling better for the exchange we did have though it did take some time to sort through their condescention and return to my own center but I was happy I stuck with it. It wss good practice. Learning when to listen and when to speak. Learning and teaching. And just being present.
And as for the guy that is getting his friends to pray for me, as I said, the more the merrier. Though he may find the prayers he sends my way enrich me in ways he didn't intend. But I do appreciate the boost!
Namaste!!!
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
On the down low
There are many that are part of the LGBT community but keep it secret for a variety of reasons.
In this time of tolerance, companies and their employees publicly state that they support "Diversity" which includes sexual preference but find other execuses to refuse to hire, refuse to promote, and to fire people. It is difficult to prove otherwise.
The same holds true for parental rights. Whether you are trying to keep your children, share parental custody, or adopt, the courts are even more open about considering your sexual prefence as a strike against you.
Religion is often at the root of these moral issues. I personally have found my spirituality to be very important to me. I know it takes a strong person to find their own path when everyone wants to show you their way but I am happy I chose to walk that path instead of giving up entirely.
I have had to struggle recently with the loss of a dear friend, their secrets, and the way I have been treated because I don't keep my sexuality a secret. My emotions run the full spectrum from annoyance to anger to pity and depression. I am exhausted.
But I am also surprised and thankful for where the support sometimes comes. So I keep on going and remain hopeful for the future. I try to be an example of a kind and loving person in the hopes that others will realize that I am no better or worse than most and should have the same rights as everyone in this country.
In this time of tolerance, companies and their employees publicly state that they support "Diversity" which includes sexual preference but find other execuses to refuse to hire, refuse to promote, and to fire people. It is difficult to prove otherwise.
The same holds true for parental rights. Whether you are trying to keep your children, share parental custody, or adopt, the courts are even more open about considering your sexual prefence as a strike against you.
Religion is often at the root of these moral issues. I personally have found my spirituality to be very important to me. I know it takes a strong person to find their own path when everyone wants to show you their way but I am happy I chose to walk that path instead of giving up entirely.
I have had to struggle recently with the loss of a dear friend, their secrets, and the way I have been treated because I don't keep my sexuality a secret. My emotions run the full spectrum from annoyance to anger to pity and depression. I am exhausted.
But I am also surprised and thankful for where the support sometimes comes. So I keep on going and remain hopeful for the future. I try to be an example of a kind and loving person in the hopes that others will realize that I am no better or worse than most and should have the same rights as everyone in this country.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
All Praise the Mighty d'Allah!
It seems many today have truly sold their soul to the Mighty dollar.
We see jobs disappearing and turn a blind eye as if the work all of a sudden is no longer needed. In reality, these jobs are being quietly oursourced to other countries and even the people losing their jobs still support the policies that allow this.
When I worked for one of the Fortune 500 companies as it became more obsessed with the value of its stock and less concerned with the needs of its employees, I saw the writing on the wall.
My group trialed outsourcing and before you knew it, the company had sold a large portion of its employees to an outsourcing firm as if we were just a commodity. The next step was for that company to then shift the jobs overseas. A one-two punch that I suspect is at the root of the mystery of much of our job losses. The work is still there. The workers that contribute to our economy are not.
Just that one Fortune 500 company went from around 105,000 employees to around 35,000. Do the math to see what just the Fortune 500 companies may have outsourced.
Yet it seems so many still support large corporations being able to have a voice through their money. The individual has lost much of its power and yet so many still support the political views that are taking the individual freedoms away and listening (and often profiting) from the corporations.
I will not address the folks profitiing from this worship of money because they don't care and it is unlikely any words will change that. It's like gold fever. More, MORE, MORE!!!
I understand that people should try to contribute to a society. If they can't, I don't believe that should be treated like dirt. Finding that balance isn't easy. Many will try to take advantage of the system and this gives the other side an example of why we should not provide any help. Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water.
If we are to err, let's err on the side of helping people instead of making profits. Just because you are fortunate does not mean everyone has had the same opportunities. Put yourself in someone else's shoes and try to understand things from their point of view. And if you do worship money over people, do you really think that's right?
We see jobs disappearing and turn a blind eye as if the work all of a sudden is no longer needed. In reality, these jobs are being quietly oursourced to other countries and even the people losing their jobs still support the policies that allow this.
When I worked for one of the Fortune 500 companies as it became more obsessed with the value of its stock and less concerned with the needs of its employees, I saw the writing on the wall.
My group trialed outsourcing and before you knew it, the company had sold a large portion of its employees to an outsourcing firm as if we were just a commodity. The next step was for that company to then shift the jobs overseas. A one-two punch that I suspect is at the root of the mystery of much of our job losses. The work is still there. The workers that contribute to our economy are not.
Just that one Fortune 500 company went from around 105,000 employees to around 35,000. Do the math to see what just the Fortune 500 companies may have outsourced.
Yet it seems so many still support large corporations being able to have a voice through their money. The individual has lost much of its power and yet so many still support the political views that are taking the individual freedoms away and listening (and often profiting) from the corporations.
I will not address the folks profitiing from this worship of money because they don't care and it is unlikely any words will change that. It's like gold fever. More, MORE, MORE!!!
I understand that people should try to contribute to a society. If they can't, I don't believe that should be treated like dirt. Finding that balance isn't easy. Many will try to take advantage of the system and this gives the other side an example of why we should not provide any help. Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water.
If we are to err, let's err on the side of helping people instead of making profits. Just because you are fortunate does not mean everyone has had the same opportunities. Put yourself in someone else's shoes and try to understand things from their point of view. And if you do worship money over people, do you really think that's right?
Monday, June 11, 2012
DON'T POKE THE BEAR!!!
Some folks might think I am saying this for it's amusement factor only. I am here to tell you that underneath the Winni the Pooh exterior lies a sleeping GRIZZLY. I kid you not!
Though I go by TiggerTheTiger due to my love for the whole cast of Winni the Pooh (especially after reading "The Tao of Pooh") and my Chinese zodiac being the Tiger, the TIGER also sleeps.
Anything can wake either one.
If I wake in the morning and am already hollering at the blind cat, I'm in a BAD mood. When your boss asks you if you have had a cup of coffee and you say "No" and he then refuses to talk to you, you might not be a morning person. So, we have established I wake slowly and have a BAD temper. Oddly, both the cat and boss still like me.
I do my best to change my negative attitude because I don't think it's a nice way to be. I do believe it is in my genes having watched my other family members but I still don't think that's a reason not to at least try to be a better person. Spock from Star Trek always comes to mind. His life long struggle with his human emotions and his Vulcan ideals of no emotions.
I fail sometimes but I strive for a balance of showing the good and hiding the bad. I am not going to debate whether it is right or wrong. It is just the way I want to be. It seems to raise up the energy of those around me and I think that is a good thing.
If someone really wants to know what's wrong (and I know myself), I will discuss it in a private conversation. It usually helps me release the negative energy I have suppressed over the issue without too much damage to anyone or thing.
But if you know what my buttons are and you really like your hands, DON'T POKE THE BEAR! You may not get your hand back. I have been known to cut with my tongue so you might find the scars to not even be seen if I so desire. It's not all fun and games 24 hours a day. You have been warned.
Namaste :)
Though I go by TiggerTheTiger due to my love for the whole cast of Winni the Pooh (especially after reading "The Tao of Pooh") and my Chinese zodiac being the Tiger, the TIGER also sleeps.
Anything can wake either one.
If I wake in the morning and am already hollering at the blind cat, I'm in a BAD mood. When your boss asks you if you have had a cup of coffee and you say "No" and he then refuses to talk to you, you might not be a morning person. So, we have established I wake slowly and have a BAD temper. Oddly, both the cat and boss still like me.
I do my best to change my negative attitude because I don't think it's a nice way to be. I do believe it is in my genes having watched my other family members but I still don't think that's a reason not to at least try to be a better person. Spock from Star Trek always comes to mind. His life long struggle with his human emotions and his Vulcan ideals of no emotions.
I fail sometimes but I strive for a balance of showing the good and hiding the bad. I am not going to debate whether it is right or wrong. It is just the way I want to be. It seems to raise up the energy of those around me and I think that is a good thing.
If someone really wants to know what's wrong (and I know myself), I will discuss it in a private conversation. It usually helps me release the negative energy I have suppressed over the issue without too much damage to anyone or thing.
But if you know what my buttons are and you really like your hands, DON'T POKE THE BEAR! You may not get your hand back. I have been known to cut with my tongue so you might find the scars to not even be seen if I so desire. It's not all fun and games 24 hours a day. You have been warned.
Namaste :)
Monday, June 4, 2012
Primitive emotions and more enlightened responses
When my lawn mower was stolen recently, I felt anger, fear, and a desire for revenge. The lawn mower was hidden under a black trash bag, under my back porch, and right up against my house.
The thought of someone coming onto my property put both anger and fear in me. Living right next to the largest railroad switching station in Alabama, I have the added railroad security constantly driving around and monitoring the area. Our local police force is also good at their job so I felt quite safe and secure where I live.
The fact that my neighbors had lost their home of 17 years and had moved out made me realize some low-life had noticed the house was vacant and there would be less people to see their evil deed.
The thought that they might have done this while I was home raised my level of anger and fear even more and I began to think of revenge. I wanted these people hurt in a bad way. Three times as much as they hurt me!
Instead, I released the problem to Spirit. I decided I didn't know who had done it or why. I did trust my higher power to know more about the situation and handle it from a better place of judgement than I could. It didn't make all the primitive emotions disappear but I felt a LOT better.
The next step was to remind myself that someone cared. Living alone, that fell to me. Who better to know anyway? So I took myself out to dinner, bought myself some flowers, and a few gifts (yes, one was a lawn mower).
The planting of the flowers was theraputic also and got me outside instead of moping about the stolen lawn mower. I got them on sale so that was even better. When you see me post pics of white amarillo's and pink dahlia's, perhaps you'll remember how I tried to make stolen lawn mowers into flowers.
The other gifts will remind me also that I am still very fortunate in many ways. They will remind me I can be more mature in my responses to those primitive emotions. That every bad thing that happens is an opportunity to practice what I preach for it is a learning process for most of us.
Instead of wasting energy shouting at the world, asking it to bring it on, I feel much better doing the things I did. I feel they are more mature and enlightened and are examples of the change I would like to see in the world. I find it returns more blessings and positive energy to me and I like my world to work that way.
Namaste!
The thought of someone coming onto my property put both anger and fear in me. Living right next to the largest railroad switching station in Alabama, I have the added railroad security constantly driving around and monitoring the area. Our local police force is also good at their job so I felt quite safe and secure where I live.
The fact that my neighbors had lost their home of 17 years and had moved out made me realize some low-life had noticed the house was vacant and there would be less people to see their evil deed.
The thought that they might have done this while I was home raised my level of anger and fear even more and I began to think of revenge. I wanted these people hurt in a bad way. Three times as much as they hurt me!
Instead, I released the problem to Spirit. I decided I didn't know who had done it or why. I did trust my higher power to know more about the situation and handle it from a better place of judgement than I could. It didn't make all the primitive emotions disappear but I felt a LOT better.
The next step was to remind myself that someone cared. Living alone, that fell to me. Who better to know anyway? So I took myself out to dinner, bought myself some flowers, and a few gifts (yes, one was a lawn mower).
The planting of the flowers was theraputic also and got me outside instead of moping about the stolen lawn mower. I got them on sale so that was even better. When you see me post pics of white amarillo's and pink dahlia's, perhaps you'll remember how I tried to make stolen lawn mowers into flowers.
The other gifts will remind me also that I am still very fortunate in many ways. They will remind me I can be more mature in my responses to those primitive emotions. That every bad thing that happens is an opportunity to practice what I preach for it is a learning process for most of us.
Instead of wasting energy shouting at the world, asking it to bring it on, I feel much better doing the things I did. I feel they are more mature and enlightened and are examples of the change I would like to see in the world. I find it returns more blessings and positive energy to me and I like my world to work that way.
Namaste!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Like begets Like
I find many people would rather claim to know something than swallow their pride, admit ignorance, and learn something in the process. If I have a doubt and say I do not know, the other person's answer may give me knowledge or verify what I thought. There's nothing wrong with admitting you don't know something. Acting like you do just causes you to remain ignorant. The smart ones have nothing to prove and everything to learn.
When I come across the prideful sort, I find them to be quite a drain. Communication is broken and you have to figure out what they need because they won't admit to any lack of knowledge. They have built a wall around themselves and see ignorance as weakness though their pride is the true downfall for people stop helping them. When this communication stops, both sides suffer.
From street slang to internet slang, even the people in the conversation often don't understand what the other person is saying due to mumbling, vague acronyms, or gross misspelling and grammer to name a few problems. When asked, some will tell you they don't know (even though they won't ask for a clarification) and the rest will act like they understand even if they don't. A lot of this comes from a lack of education and that includes many educators that don't care.
From my own experience, this gets even worse as we move past just being prideful to boastful. A series of successes can quickly lead a person to feeling quite powerful in their ways and begin to invite trouble from corners unknown through boastfulness.
I haven't figured out how to get through to people that feel they know everything. Each time I try, I find the simplest of conversations to turn into a therapy session. I don't mind helping anyone even in this way but I find it very exhausting.
It is also misleading since the subtle cues a person may have learned that help them understand a person are thwarted by all the lies and deception. There aren't many resources to learn some of the things I'm inferring and negative input just detracts from what you think you've learned.
So instead of using anger to hurt others or challenge them to a war you think you can not lose, I'd suggest you find healthier ways to release the anger and focus on the good in your life. It may be a long time before you see the fruits of either way but I know I can look back and see the better path for me was kindness.
When I come across the prideful sort, I find them to be quite a drain. Communication is broken and you have to figure out what they need because they won't admit to any lack of knowledge. They have built a wall around themselves and see ignorance as weakness though their pride is the true downfall for people stop helping them. When this communication stops, both sides suffer.
From street slang to internet slang, even the people in the conversation often don't understand what the other person is saying due to mumbling, vague acronyms, or gross misspelling and grammer to name a few problems. When asked, some will tell you they don't know (even though they won't ask for a clarification) and the rest will act like they understand even if they don't. A lot of this comes from a lack of education and that includes many educators that don't care.
From my own experience, this gets even worse as we move past just being prideful to boastful. A series of successes can quickly lead a person to feeling quite powerful in their ways and begin to invite trouble from corners unknown through boastfulness.
I haven't figured out how to get through to people that feel they know everything. Each time I try, I find the simplest of conversations to turn into a therapy session. I don't mind helping anyone even in this way but I find it very exhausting.
It is also misleading since the subtle cues a person may have learned that help them understand a person are thwarted by all the lies and deception. There aren't many resources to learn some of the things I'm inferring and negative input just detracts from what you think you've learned.
So instead of using anger to hurt others or challenge them to a war you think you can not lose, I'd suggest you find healthier ways to release the anger and focus on the good in your life. It may be a long time before you see the fruits of either way but I know I can look back and see the better path for me was kindness.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Marriage = EQUALITY!!!
I recently had a discussion with a member of an AIDS support group that made me realize I needed to have my say too.
Members of groups often forget that they are representing a group. Making statements in that group instead of on a personal page implies you are speaking for the group. So when this person said that didn't care about getting the right to be married and only wanted the other rights that came with it, the hairs on my back stood on end.
I lost my Partner, the house I bought him, and all his possessions because I had no legal rights. I only got to see him while he was in ICU because of a technicality. But my partner, Jerry Michael Brown, was the one that said we should call each other "Partners".
He didn't like the term "Lovers" because he said it implied that was all our relationship was based on and he said it wasn't. He didn't want to say we were "Married" because we weren't and it would be a lie.
If you had know this man, you'd find it hard to believe he had thought something through so much but it showed to me how much he really did love me. It wasn't an easy union but I can say I love him and miss him often now that he has passed on. Marriage is something we will not get to share in this lifetime.
So I want the opportunity in the future to be able to say I am "Married" in whatever religious or non-religious context that is. It will state: "I am the SAME as you!". No second-class citizen drinking from the gay water fountain and the law will have to back me.
It is TIME to evolve past such hatred. Whomever you consider to be your hero or religious icon, follow their teachings of love, compassion, tolerance, and forgiveness. It's time to start making an effort ALL THE TIME to RAISE THIS WORLD UP!
Namaste,
Ivan
Members of groups often forget that they are representing a group. Making statements in that group instead of on a personal page implies you are speaking for the group. So when this person said that didn't care about getting the right to be married and only wanted the other rights that came with it, the hairs on my back stood on end.
I lost my Partner, the house I bought him, and all his possessions because I had no legal rights. I only got to see him while he was in ICU because of a technicality. But my partner, Jerry Michael Brown, was the one that said we should call each other "Partners".
He didn't like the term "Lovers" because he said it implied that was all our relationship was based on and he said it wasn't. He didn't want to say we were "Married" because we weren't and it would be a lie.
If you had know this man, you'd find it hard to believe he had thought something through so much but it showed to me how much he really did love me. It wasn't an easy union but I can say I love him and miss him often now that he has passed on. Marriage is something we will not get to share in this lifetime.
So I want the opportunity in the future to be able to say I am "Married" in whatever religious or non-religious context that is. It will state: "I am the SAME as you!". No second-class citizen drinking from the gay water fountain and the law will have to back me.
It is TIME to evolve past such hatred. Whomever you consider to be your hero or religious icon, follow their teachings of love, compassion, tolerance, and forgiveness. It's time to start making an effort ALL THE TIME to RAISE THIS WORLD UP!
Namaste,
Ivan
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